nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
