There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
