Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize