You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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