The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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