Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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