I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
ok first of all what the fuck
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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