i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
