When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
