I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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