best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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