No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
