you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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