i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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