If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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