im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
