She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
