did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
