we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
