Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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