You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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