Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
