People with herpes should wear stickers.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
