How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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