kristin has been a bad kristin
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
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You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
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Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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