she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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