bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
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