yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
