Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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