The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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