to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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