Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
