I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
His nipple licking is glorious
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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