well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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