ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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