it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i think my cat just said my name.
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