I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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