So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize