so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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