i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
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I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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