She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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