I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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