His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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