i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
