He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
