I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
