I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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