Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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