I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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