He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
