I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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