I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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