Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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