I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
