She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize