i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
