You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
