wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
