what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
