i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
